Sober dating

Additionally, “normal” sober dating can seem boring by comparison.

After the inevitable relapses, she recommitted herself to her treatment program.

Newly sober, she didn’t date anyone for eight months, giving herself time to recognize the red flags that her earlier self was not ready to see.

Rushing into a relationship breeds codependence, which is also known as “relationship addiction” because of how such arrangements are usually one-sided, abusive, and emotionally destructive – much like the original substance abuse problem.

As an additional layer of protection, a person in recovery should also not date other people in recovery.

Even for people who aren’t using anymore, and who consistently work the program, there is an unconscious identification with other addicts, to the point of seeking out romantic or sexual partners with substance abuse problems (either borderline or full blown).

Part of the draw comes from the feeling of relapsing without actually doing it; a psyche that is still too strongly tempted by addiction can rationalize anything, including staying with a partner (or multiple partners) who are using drugs.When it comes to relationships, the realities and rules of abstinence after addiction become all the starker.Whether as a client or a companion, a guide to sober dating is very important in understanding how matters of the heart change.tells the story of a eight-year-sober 33-year old man who, on the advice of his AA sponsor, “religiously avoided dating” for six months.The official policy of Alcoholics Anonymous (as laid out in the , a sex coach points out that substance abuse warps how people see themselves, and others around them; by the time they get to recovery, people have no idea of who they are.It may entail leaving early, being alone, or being considered the “boring” one, but the alternative is flirting with disaster.

Tags: , ,